Avoidance of our own true identity through parenting.

Most people understand the concept of projection and displaying our own characteristics out onto other people. Whatever we don’t own about ourselves we project onto others.What I have noticed is this concept is completely disregarded when it comes to the person we nurture and care for from the time they are born.

When we are able to be authentic and love ourselves we will take the necessary steps to creating our healthiest and best selves. We will love ourselves enough to eat healthy, exercise regularly, read and expand or minds, and focus our energy on creating better and more balanced lives. These concepts and principles will be transmitted to our parenting styles and how we treat our children. I often see parents being reactive and speak to their kids from stress, pain, and discomfort. Instead of being in control of their emotions and thoughts they will use language that is hurtful to ease the pain within themselves. If we are feeling anxious or stressed we will project that onto our kids and create a chaotic atmosphere which then will be blamed on the children. In order to create happy and healthy environments for our children, first we must change the way we speak to ourselves. Once we can accept our selves then we can work on changing the language we use with our children. We will be able to speak in ways that are effective and transmit love, connection, honesty, openness, and respect.

Most parents do not accept their children for who they are. They try to shape and mold them to fit into a narrative that is most pleasing to the parent. This happens usually because the parent does not accept them self. The effects lead to the child creating a false self and suppressing who they want to be in order to appease their parent. They will seem obedient and favorable to the parents desires in order to escape pain and fear. In order to create a genuine experience for your children you must learn to speak their language. You must encourage goodness, creativity, and have them be passionate about who they will become. This process takes a lot of strength and courage on the part of the parent. They must look inward and learn to accept who they are. They need to understand that their self acceptance is the crucial tool to be passed down to their children.

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