I wanted to share the facts and evidence showing that all the consequences of hitting and spanking result in negative outcomes. There is no counter argument that supports the positive effects of hitting and spanking.
In all studies hitting a child causes very harmful effects such as increased aggressive behavior, lower self esteem, increased drug addiction, increased antisocial behavior, increased criminal behavior, increased risk of spousal abuse, decrease in mental health and physical health as an adult. Very similar results were found with spanking. The evidence is clear that by hitting your child you could have a huge negative impact in determining their future health and happiness.
How we are treated as a child and our relationships with adults will shape how we experience the world. There is no dispute that early childhood trauma from violence is damaging. Most parents I speak to resort to spanking because they see quick changes in behavior. It is a quick and easy way to resolve a problem and generally will please the parents. To raise better children we must take the time to to solve problems, we must listen, we must have clear communication, and we must give our children the same attention that we would want in any relationship.
I know parenting is hard and stressful. I have 3 kids ages 21,18, and 13 that I am currently experimenting with! When I started to make the shift to peaceful parenting a lot of people questioned the effectiveness and criticized my abilities as the man of the house. The true sign of confidence and strength is how the stronger, bigger, and smarter individuals in society treat the smallest and weakest. My kids were not hit, spanked, and have not been punished in over a decade. When I see the relationship that has been created with them over the years I am continually amazed at how open, honest, and genuine they are. I am grateful for their understanding of how important they are not only to me and their mother, but to themselves.
I constantly hear phrases like, be present with people without sacrificing who you are, live your life like you’re the hero in your own movie, and create a life you love. The narrative to think happy thoughts, the power of the mind, rewire your brain, be self aware, tell the truth, and be authentic, is continually promoted by self help gurus, social media stars, and some of the most inspiring authors. What if we can take concepts that look to help people reach their full potential in life and apply them to our children. If we start raising kids peacefully and stop abusing, hitting, spanking, neglecting, shaming, and punishing them I believe this will be the best way to get past the road blocks most of face when trying to improve as adults.
There are many things to improve on with raising happy and healthy children. The first step for a better future is, as parents we need to take responsibility for our actions and start raising our children without physical violence. Spanking is violence.